My Life Just Changed Forever

 My life just changed forever. That was my facebook status message two years ago today.  May 10th was the day.  Mother’s Day.  It couldn’t have been more perfect.  After years of wanting a baby and worrying that maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for me, I had been blessed with the greatest miracle of all.  Craig was out of town, so it was just the dog and me.  I was bursting with excitement and needed to tell someone.  Of course I would post something on facebook.  Of course I would

Oddly enough, the night before, I was at a friend’s house talking about motherhood, having what would be my last glass of wine for what seemed like an eternity.  My friend sent me a picture of his yard the following morning.  A massive tree had fallen down in the exact spot where I had been sitting, almost as if to say, “this phase of your life is over.”  I got that text at 10 a.m. Mother’s Day morning, moments after seeing the word “PREGNANT” on my pregnancy test.

I, so badly, wanted to tell my husband in person.  He was supposed to be home in three days and I **thought** I could wait.  I waited…about 30 seconds.  I told him on the phone.  He didn’t believe me.  My next call was to new friend Audrey of Mom Generations, who lives right down the street from me.  She had just asked me to breakfast the week before, which turned into a 5 hour gab-fest, where she asked me about kids and I confided in her that I could be pregnant at that very moment.  Actually, now that I think of it, I think I tried to call my husband and he wasn’t there, so maybe Audrey knew FIRST and my husband knew second.  No matter.  In time, the whole world would know, because I told basically ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN.  Later that day, I went on a walk with Jane who also writes at Mom Generations and is Audrey’s sister.  I met the whole family that day and that’s when a great friendship was born.  For those who live in Rhode Island, or who have done business with Barrington Printing or Mom Generations, you know how wonderful this family is.  They’re huggers, which I LOVE and they let me talk on and on and on about this little miracle inside of me.

 

 

Oh, this note really is from my husband.  You might be wondering about that since his name is written in ink.  You see, my husband and I have been calling each other “Mav” and “Goose” since we were dating.  It’s even engraved on the inside of our wedding rings.  So, when he sent me flowers he signed them, “Always, M.”  Sixty years from now, when we are dead, I didn’t want my grandchildren to imagine some family drama and think that there was funny business going on with some guy whose name started with “M,” so I wrote Craig on the card.  Hey, I never claimed to be normal…too early to blame it on pregnancy hormones?

Ode to Mom

Me with my mom & sister circa 1976

All this week I have been thinking about those sayings our moms have.  Some they made up.  Some they heard from their mothers and some they borrowed from the greats.  Chances are you’ll pass many of these “momisms” down, and make up a few of your own.  Here are my favorites from my mom, mother-in-law, and a  few of my own.

THINGS MY MOM/MIL SAY

  • Make wise choices
  • When God closes a door, he opens a window
  • Kill ’em with kindness
  • Pretty is as pretty does
  • A smile goes a long way
  • You can’t expect others to treat you the way you would treat them
  • Worrying is counterproductive
  • Do your best

THINGS I SAY OR PLAN TO SAY  TO MY DAUGHTER (basically all of the above, plus…)

  • Where you are is where you are meant to be
  • You never know what’s going on in someone’s life
  • That’s the decision you made;  if you don’t like the outcome, maybe next time you’ll make a different decision
  • You should always be kind, but you don’t always have to be nice
  • If we all do a little, no one has to do a lot
  • Live a life of gratitude
  • What’s on the inside matters more than what’s on the outside

 

What are some of the “momisms” you remember from your childhood?  Do you find yourself saying them to your own kids?

Evolving as a Mother

As I laid there gazing at my little one, the roundness of her cheeks, her sweat dampened curls on her forehead, it hit me. This Mother’s Day would be different from all the others. My mind traveled back to what seems like so long ago, to my first Mother’s Day. My first child was only a few weeks old when Mother’s Day came around, and the discomfort of his cesarean birth was still very fresh in my mind. My husband and I had been married only a few years at the time. We got into the game a little late, and I was back at URI studying Nursing as my second career. People questioned the timing. “Enjoy married life,” “Wait until school is done,” “Establish your career first.” We had been together long enough before we tied the knot, and graduation was another 2 years away. We wanted a family, as soon as possible. We started trying with no regard for timing. Everything else could wait. School would still be there. I knew there would be plenty of time for me to work my life away. When the two pink lines appeared, we were more than thrilled. We were having a baby. I was going to be a mother.
Nothing dramatic happened that first Mother’s Day. That is the way I like it. I was a mom, and I had a beautiful little life to take care of. We celebrated, but for me, the real celebration was in the quiet moments where I sat and snuggled my baby. I had done it. I had achieved my biggest goal in life, I had climbed my Mount Everest, I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby. I had become a mother. It wasn’t long before we were pregnant again. The thrill wasn’t lost this time around either. It seemed to multiply. Again. And again…
We have been blessed to create, deliver and raise four beautiful children. This will be my eleventh Mother’s Day. All the others have been very similar. Flowers, heartfelt homemade gifts, nice meals. This year will be different for me, though. I am turning a corner in my mothering career. A corner I am not sure I am ready to turn. You see, our family is complete. Four is it. This will be the first Mother’s Day that I will not change a diaper, nurse a baby, plan for another. That stage is over…I am growing up as a mother. I am facing new challenges. My oldest would rather play his DS than sit and snuggle with me in the rocker. Even the rocker, my true and beloved friend for the last ten years will be different this Mother’s Day. My gift this year is a set of brand-new cushions for my dear old friend (since we don’t have to worry about baby stains anymore). Times they are a changing. Like it or not.
So those cheeks, those curls, they did something, stirred something. I cannot imagine life without my children. Parenting isn’t for everyone, and even those of us who have chosen this path have our moments of question and doubt. As Mother’s Day comes, I will be reflecting on the days of past, and dreaming of whatever lies ahead. Regardless of what the future holds, today I know one thing. I am many things. I am me first, and then I am a mother. I hope I do the title justice.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Photobucket