“Proper” Etiquette and the Second Baby Shower

I’m a big believer in proper etiquette. I love hand-writing thank you notes and receiving  hand-written notes even more. Although I’m a technology geek I will always take the time to write a personalized, hand-written note to someone who was thoughtful enough to spend their time and money on a gift for me or my child. One of the reasons my husband is so endearing to me is that he always writes a note to someone who did something special. I love that he was raised to always be thankful for any act of kindness.


Having relocated from Florida to Rhode Island, I’ve noticed some big differences in etiquette. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think guests should ever have to address their own thank you notes at any type of shower. A new bride or new mother can always take some time out of their day to express their appreciation for a gesture or gift; that includes the extra thirty seconds it takes to hand write their address. Even if it takes them a month to finish.


Another “thank you” short-cut I have observed since moving up here is the generic photo card of “Thanks for your thoughtful gift,” without even so much as a signature. It always makes me cringe a little inside when receiving that, especially after taking the time and effort to find the appropriate gift for that person. I know, any thank you note is better than none; however I would rather hand write 200 notes than to ever have to send out a generic, non-personalized thank you. I find those a little rude and/or impersonal. Trust me, I know I’m old-fashioned in regards to thank-you’s.


Since I’m talking about etiquette, let’s discuss second baby showers. Personally, I would not want one for myself. My friends and family went above and beyond for my son’s shower and literally showered us with tons of gifts. I would feel uncomfortable asking any of them to come to a party with a gift for my second baby only a short two years later. I can’t wait for them to meet my daughter, but we don’t want or need any gifts for her. Their love and support means the world to our family.


I know some people up here like to have “sprinkles” or diaper showers for their second baby which seems like a more reasonable idea. I just hope that they aren’t passing out envelopes at the door for guests to address their own thank you notes. I do firmly believe every child’s life should be celebrated by friends and family. I hope we can have a small housewarming/baby-greeting party after our daughter is born this fall, with a “no gifts please” note on the invitation. If someone did want to bring a gift despite what the invite said, I can guarantee you they won’t be receiving a mass-produced thank you print out.


What do you think of second baby showers? Etiquette faux-pas or totally fine?


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