Evolving as a Mother

As I laid there gazing at my little one, the roundness of her cheeks, her sweat dampened curls on her forehead, it hit me. This Mother’s Day would be different from all the others. My mind traveled back to what seems like so long ago, to my first Mother’s Day. My first child was only a few weeks old when Mother’s Day came around, and the discomfort of his cesarean birth was still very fresh in my mind. My husband and I had been married only a few years at the time. We got into the game a little late, and I was back at URI studying Nursing as my second career. People questioned the timing. “Enjoy married life,” “Wait until school is done,” “Establish your career first.” We had been together long enough before we tied the knot, and graduation was another 2 years away. We wanted a family, as soon as possible. We started trying with no regard for timing. Everything else could wait. School would still be there. I knew there would be plenty of time for me to work my life away. When the two pink lines appeared, we were more than thrilled. We were having a baby. I was going to be a mother.
Nothing dramatic happened that first Mother’s Day. That is the way I like it. I was a mom, and I had a beautiful little life to take care of. We celebrated, but for me, the real celebration was in the quiet moments where I sat and snuggled my baby. I had done it. I had achieved my biggest goal in life, I had climbed my Mount Everest, I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby. I had become a mother. It wasn’t long before we were pregnant again. The thrill wasn’t lost this time around either. It seemed to multiply. Again. And again…
We have been blessed to create, deliver and raise four beautiful children. This will be my eleventh Mother’s Day. All the others have been very similar. Flowers, heartfelt homemade gifts, nice meals. This year will be different for me, though. I am turning a corner in my mothering career. A corner I am not sure I am ready to turn. You see, our family is complete. Four is it. This will be the first Mother’s Day that I will not change a diaper, nurse a baby, plan for another. That stage is over…I am growing up as a mother. I am facing new challenges. My oldest would rather play his DS than sit and snuggle with me in the rocker. Even the rocker, my true and beloved friend for the last ten years will be different this Mother’s Day. My gift this year is a set of brand-new cushions for my dear old friend (since we don’t have to worry about baby stains anymore). Times they are a changing. Like it or not.
So those cheeks, those curls, they did something, stirred something. I cannot imagine life without my children. Parenting isn’t for everyone, and even those of us who have chosen this path have our moments of question and doubt. As Mother’s Day comes, I will be reflecting on the days of past, and dreaming of whatever lies ahead. Regardless of what the future holds, today I know one thing. I am many things. I am me first, and then I am a mother. I hope I do the title justice.

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About Melissa Moroni

Enjoying all the Miss-Adventures parenting throws my way and looking forward to what tomorrow holds. With my 'village' by my side, anything is possible! Learn more about me here.